So that went… as expected.

No, that’s not entirely true. I expected to do better. I always think I will have more time, and more determination. But if I was honest with myself, I knew how it would go. I made it vegetarian through Thanksgiving, but I caved in for my mom’s roasted duck on Christmas Eve. It was amazing. So were the morcilla and eggs I had the next morning. I regret nothing! Nothing involving those two days. The rest of the break I had no excuse. I lost my head to the holiday spirit and my passionate love for sweets.

I’ve learned a few things since my last entry on this blog.

1. I’m really, really slow. The turtle in Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath could cross the road faster than I cook.

2. Even if I hide it in other things, Finick will not eat chunky, vegetable-like things. Even if they are soft. Even if he ate soup made from the same ingredients. I made a mean vegetarian lasagna with hazelnuts and butternut squash, and he wouldn’t have it. He’s become remarkably suspicious about what things are made of, so now I just say, “Healthy things.” As long as he can’t tell, it’s better if he doesn’t know.

3. I’m overly ambitious in the kitchen. I need to stick to simpler things (except for baking, which I love and am pretty good at). I was doing well with soups and stir fries but I started experimenting and it went downhill from there. The simpler stuff is easier to burn off, too.

4. I am obsessed with peanut butter. That’s not really a lesson, just a discovery.

5. I need to ready/study recipes more carefully and be more patient (in general).

The holidays weren’t good to my waistline. I was on a roll with the exercise and the healthy eating. I’ve been trying to get back on that train the last month with some success, but I lack the security and determination I felt. I’ve been pretty good the last couple of days, finally getting back in control. I said no to the chocolate cake from the office pre-Super Bowl party (though I gave a resounding two-sliced YES to the spinach and ricotta pizza — heaven help me, it was divine). When Finick crunchily ate from a can of sour cream and onion Pringles right next to me, I resisted. I even calmly lied that it didn’t bother me that he was eating them right next to me. I don’t mind in principle, but I wanted to sayshout something like, COME ON, LIKE YOU HAVE TO ASK. WHAT KIND OF JERK…etc. Sometimes he is so infuriating. The last couple of days have been pretty good on the food front, but I feel like I need to take it up a notch.

I’m going to see how many days I can go without eating bread. My original was 30 days but not only is that daunting, I know for a fact I will be eating pizza for my friend’s birthday party in a week. But that aside, I want to give it a shot. No cake, no bread, no wrap, no cracker of any kind. My goal isn’t to go without bread indefinitely (did I mention I love baking?), but to reduce the amount I consume. I’m probably not mentally or physically prepared for this, but when would I be? That’s why it’s a challenge. This is only day 2. Onward!



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